Clear What’s In Your Way

I’m channelling the fun I had last year pacing John Taylor.

I DNF’d my last 100 - Zumbro - and now, a month later, I’m facing Massanutten 100.

Massanutten is a infinitely more technical course. It’s motto is “Massanutten rocks” for a reason and it has 5000 ft. more climb.

In other words, it’s much harder.

And I haven’t done anything extra since Zumbro to prepare.

So it’s easy to believe I’m going to do worse.

Believing I can finish seems irresponsibly risky.

It’s smarter to be realistic and doubt myself. Not get my hopes up.

Until I wonder, “Says who?”

I’m currently taking an advanced coaching certification in feminist coaching because I see so many common patterns in my female clients and want to be able to coach them better.

One thing I’ve learned from it is how women are socialized to doubt ourselves and avoid taking risks, especially audacious ones like running an ultra.

Thinking highly enough of yourself to believe you can do something impossible like this…for men, it’s admirably daring. For women, it’s “who does she think she is?”

You run your best when you believe in yourself but that’s hard to do when you’ve been socialized all your life to doubt yourself.

It’s why you want to believe you can finish a race…but still doubt your way into a DNF.

The solution is knowing this and choosing what you want to do about it - give into it or run the race despite it?

I love Massanutten - this will be my 18th finish - and I’ve waited three long years to be able to run it again. I almost died trying to get to it last year.

Now that I have the chance, I’m not going to let doubt ruin it.

So I used the same process I teach my clients and here’s how I’m looking at it now:

I’ve never been in this situation - harder race after a DNF. This could be a great set-up.

I’m running Massanutten smarter than I would have without what I learned at Zumbro.

Massanutten is a different course that’s more my type.

It’s going to feel so satisfying to do all that work and cross the finish line.

No matter how the race goes, I’m going to enjoy it while I have it.

And last but not least, if I was realistic about ultrarunning, I’d still be reading about it instead of doing it. It’s inherently unrealistic - so I’m going with it.

Now, instead of spending taper week stressing about Massanutten, I’m ready.

I’m looking forward to seeing the trail again and the chance to run this one better.

Doubt’s still there, but insignificant.

I’m going into Massanutten stronger because I saw what was in the way of believing I could do it…and I’ve moved into a stronger mindset.

That race you worry about finishing?

You can clear what’s in the way and face it with a stronger mindset too.