Why to Not Stop Comparing

(All good comparisons with Irina Miloserdova-Boggie. Photo: Scott Rokis)

One of my favorite clients started out seeing herself as weak.

Comparing herself to famous ultrarunners like Courtney Dauwalter didn’t help.

They were so strong over tough courses, against the weather…through everything.

“These runners don’t have the same debilitating thoughts I do,” she thought. “They’ve moved past that don’t have them any more.”

Courtney was so good that the little injuries bothering my client simply didn’t happen to her.

My client saw in these runners everything she wasn’t.

She was so far removed from them in her mind that finishing a 100-mile race like they did seemed impossible. She was sure she’d give up like she had the first time.

Comparing herself like this only reinforced her sense of weakness. She wanted to change but couldn’t see how.

If comparison does this to you - leaves you feeling less capable, further from your goal, and hopeless - there’s an alternative I teach.

Good comparison.

You’re still going to compare - humans are hard-wired to do it so you might as well not fight it.

But that doesn’t mean it has to leave you feeling bad about yourself.

The problem isn’t comparing - it’s HOW you’re comparing.

If you dissect comparison, the act of comparing isn’t the actual problem. You’re simply holding yourself up next to someone else. Everything is neutral…until you start judging the differences.

Comparison is defined as “an examination of two or more items to establish similarities and dissimilarities.”

Your brain automatically goes to work on the second part, cataloging all the ways you’re dissimilar to an ideal like Courtney.

You get so busy with that, you completely forget to look for the similarities.

So here’s what you’re going to do instead. You’re going to compare - remember you can’t stop that.

The difference is, you’re going to look for similarities.

Things you have in common - traits, outlooks, values, characteristics, experiences, decisions, races.

Especially, things you admire about this person.

Give it a try. Think of someone you routinely compare yourself to - a famous runner, a runner friend, a co-worker or relative.

Write down ten ways you’re the same.

This might sound too simple to change anything but it will.

Writing matters because you’re not used to comparing this way and your mind will resist. Without pen and paper in hand, it will keep trying to change the subject to negative comparison and your flaws.

If you struggle to come up with even one similarity, start simple. Even, “we have the same hair color,” gets the ball rolling.

My client did this with Courtney Dauwalter and found not one…but 51 things in common!

She started with with, “We’re both women,” and moved onto “we both…”

• Run extreme distances

• Get excited about races

• Like to run comfortably

• Face the unknown in races

• Have doubts and work through them

And on.

If you do this every time you feel like comparing, you’ll build a list that shows you’re more like the confident runners you admire than you imagined.

If you do it regularly like my client, it will change the way you see yourself.

You’re not so different from them after all.

Suddenly, big things seem possible for you too.

My client grew into her own toughness and persevered through highs and lows to finish her 100-mile dream race.

If you want to feel better, stronger and more confident about your running, I’m here to help.

Change is easier and faster with someone to guide you, and help you course-correct when you get stuck.

Set up a free consult call with this link and let’s look at how we can get your running how you want it to be.