Turn Defeat Around

In 2001 at Leadville 100, when I arrived at the busy, 50-mile Winfield turnaround, people rushing everywhere, a volunteer looked me in the eye and said curtly, “You have 15 minutes on cutoff.”

I’d never been close to cutoff before. Never even had to think about it.

And I was this close? How??

What should I do?

He meant I wouldn’t make it. I should quit and get out of the way of those strong enough to finish.

No way could I make it back up over 12,000’ Hope Pass to the next aid station at Twin Lakes before cutoff. It had been hard to get over it the first time and I wasn’t likely to gain time going back.

Confused, embarrassed, and devastated, I did what I thought I should - I dropped.

I stuffed my feelings down. The agonizing Car Ride of Shame back to the start/finish quite probably took longer than running back.

The following year, I came back to do it right. I’d be faster and I wouldn’t drop - I’d keep going.

But the exact same thing happened.

A volunteer told me the exact same thing - again.

I’d trained harder and run so much harder, solely to get here earlier…and was still only 15 minutes ahead of cutoff?

I looked up at Hope Pass, embroiled in a thunderstorm.

Utterly defeated, I did the same thing - I dropped.

This time, the car ride was worse. We inched out of the aid station down the gravel road, and I passing runners coming and leaving. I watched them through the window.

The faces, the stride, everything about the runners coming in said, “determined.”

The runners leaving toward the finish could have been me.

They weren’t quitting. Why had I?

I could do that climb, and do it well. It wasn’t my body. It was my mind.

I went home and started my journey to figure out what was going on in my mind and solve it. The journey that led me here.

The first thing I learned - I’m not my thoughts.

And no matter what a human or thought says, I can choose to believe in myself anyway.

The next year, I came back for a third try.

This time, I had a pacer for part of the race as insurance. If anyone at Winfield said anything about cutoff, I don’t remember because it wasn’t important. If they weren’t pulling me, I was going.

Hours later, I left the last aid station headed into the finish.

With a mile or two left to go, the course leveled off into a wide, flat, dusty road, not my strong suit. I alternated shuffling with walking. I’d given it my all and this was the best I had left.

I neared a lone bystander on the side of the road and he said, as if it was physically impossible and I should quit and take it easy, “You’re not going to make it.”

Bullshit.

Whether he was right or wrong, I wasn’t giving up on myself this time.

I could too make it.

I ran the rest of the way in…and finished.

With over 30 minutes to spare (who’s not going to make it??).

If you learn anything mindset-wise before your next race, make it this: you are not your thoughts.

And no matter what a thought or another human says, you can choose to see the situation differently.

You can decide to believe you can do it. You can turn it around. Because.

This is what I help clients get good at.

If you’re ready to believe in yourself when everything seems against you, I can help.

Use this link to set up an easy consult call.

It changes everything.