The Evidence Bank

“Wow. I run there.”

Every time I drive to Knoxville I crest one particular hill where Knoxville sprawls ahead but beyond it stands the long, imposing blue ridge of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

Here I am in the car on the way to shop for groceries or get my hair cut. Everyday, ordinary life stuff.

And there lie the mountains, impossibly high, remote and commanding.

“I run there.”

I have to remind myself because in that moment, it seems impossible I run stuff that epic. It feels like something others do.

My everyday self and ultra self conflict. My brain says I can’t be both and the ultra self can’t be real, so let it go.

But I don’t let it go because I have evidence I’m an amazing ultrarunner. I have my Evidence Bank to remind me.

I look at the distance from the bottom of the mountains to the top and remind myself: “I run all the way up that. I do it all the time.”

Then I scan the length of the ridge line from right, where it rises up from Fontana Dam, to left where it disappears out of view into North Carolina.

“I’ve run every inch of that ridge. I know what it’s like and what’s there. I’m comfortable up there.”

If I didn’t have proof, I’d think it impossible for me to do something that big and wild.

But I’ve deposited years’ worth of memories and experiences in my Evidence Bank. It’s easy to remember I know the trails and have done them many, many times.

“I play up there,” I grin, awed and grateful.

Thanks to my Evidence Bank, I remember who I am. I’m a person who runs mundane errands AND miles through the mountains. I’m a normal human AND an amazing ultrarunner.

You’ve probably had similar moments where you know for a fact you’ve run ultras but your ultra self feels inaccessibly out of reach.

You have a race coming up and think you should have full confidence in yourself, but you don’t.

So you try to up your confidence by cramming in extra training miles, while you caution everyone not to expect much from you. Maybe you drop down in distance or skip the race.

If nothing works, you might doubt yourself enough in the race to drop.

Either way, you end up having a bad race that destroys the self-confidence you did have.

But the real problem isn’t lack of confidence. It’s assuming when you finish an ultra, especially a big one, you’ll naturally feel like a real ultrarunner forever and ever. You’ll never have to remind yourself.

In reality, believing something takes repetition and reinforcement.

We do it all the time with negative beliefs. If you think you’re a slow runner, you look for proof that reinforces the belief. You ruminate over being last in the group run, notice every runner that passes you in a race, and obsess over your slow pace on yesterday’s long run.

We’re simply not used to reminding ourselves like this about positive beliefs.

All you have to do is build the habit.

One way I do that with my clients is build an Evidence Bank of all the reasons they’re a real ultrarunner or can hit their goal.

I help them make regular deposits - noticing runs where they trusted themselves, let go their fear of failure, and finished against the odds.

When you build your Evidence Bank and regularly deposit proof, it’s there when you need it.

And remembering wins is a necessary habit.

We do big things and sometimes, we need to be reminded of it.