How to Lower the Cost of Failure

A client recently asked, “I have an intimidating goal race this time next year. Registration is open and there’s a cap on the number of spots. Should I sign up now or wait a bit?

“Can I train for a big event and sign up at the last minute?”

Sure, but what’s more interesting is why?

If it’s truly a goal race and there aren’t any financial or schedule conflicts, why would you wait to enter?

Why would you risk missing out on something so important?

The answer: how you think it’ll feel to fail.

Right now - a year ahead of the race - a new distance or tougher course is such an unbelievable step up, it seems clear you’ll fail.

And failing would feel awful.

You picture how embarrassing it will feel not to do what you told everyone you could.

How disappointing it will be to fall short of your goal.

And how much shame you’ll feel for being delusional enough to think you could do something that big.

You want to avoid that, so of course you hold off entering until you’re certain you can finish and don’t have to deal with failure.

But waiting backfires because when you aren’t committed enough to enter, you aren’t committed enough to train.

You train inconsistently because you don’t have the time, you’re tired, and other things keep needing priority.

You do the training you feel like doing and guilt yourself into some more. You’ll decide later if it’s good enough for the race.

So the year slips away and when the entry deadline arrives, your fear looks valid. “I couldn’t train like I wanted this year and it was smart to hold off entering. I’ll do it the next year.”

But you still get the negative feelings you didn’t want. You end up embarrassed you didn’t put forth the effort to make the race happen, disappointed you didn’t get to try it, and ashamed you wimped out and didn’t walk your big talk.

This scenario will repeat again next year because you’ll never be certain enough you can finish to talk yourself into entering this way.

To get past it, you have to be willing to feel all the failure emotions you’re trying to avoid - embarrassment, disappointment, and shame.

Trying to avoid these uncomfortable emotions is what’s holding you back. It puts you at their mercy.

Giving up your avoidance - being willing to experience these uncomfortable emotions - reduces the cost of failure. When you take the sting out of failure and it no longer threatens you, there’s no reason to wait to enter. The highest cost now is that of missing out on the race.

You can learn how to willingly feel and process emotions like these so they pass and you’re in control of their affect on you.

Then you’re ready for failure, if it happens. You know how to handle worst case and it doesn’t scare you like it used to.

You no longer abandon your goals because you might fail - you’re equipped to go after them no matter what lies ahead.

And you’re done with the self-sabotaging indecision.

You’re free to enter the race and turn your attention to planning for it to be a success.