Flipping the Mental Switch - Part 2
This is the second half of Aron Johnson’s race at Rocky Raccoon 100.
For background, the Texas race is 5 Loops of 20 miles. Cutoff for a Western States (WS) ticket is 30 hours. Race cutoff is 32 hours.
On Loops 1 and 2, Aron flipped the first switch - accepted it wasn’t likely to be a WS ticket day and would be longer and tougher than planned.
She spent Loops 3 and 4 grateful for all the things still going well, and felt better.
Now…
“I wanted to be starting Loop 5 in the dark but didn’t finish Loop 4 until way after sunrise, so I was cutting it close to cutoff. That’s not something I expected. s
I know the average pace to finish 100 miles in 32 hours and the past two loops had been significantly slower. I might have 20 seconds more per mile on that pace but not a lot.
I needed to get much faster to finish.
I had no doubt I’d keep going because my buddy was crewing and I remember telling him, “I don’t think I can do this but I have to try.”
To his credit, he was, “What do you need? Let’s get you out.” No drama.
So I left on Loop 5 with adrenaline and no doubt, “I can keep going, I can get this done.”
But only 30 seconds into the loop, my body seized up. It didn’t want to move. Everything felt worse again.
Half a mile into the loop we cross a road that’s an easy shortcut back to the finish.
By the time I got to the road, I felt so terrible I thought, “You’re not going to be able to get that pace. You’re not going to be able to make up that much time. Just take the road back.”
And this is where the second flip of the switch happened.
In the seconds it took me to reach the other side of the road, my brain took over and said, “But you want to finish and you don’t know that you can’t make up that time…so just go!”
In the past, I haven’t been able to get myself out of this but after working with you, I asked myself, “What are the facts? Do I know I can’t make up that time? No. Do I know it can’t get better? No.”
As exciting as that was, the most exciting thing was how fast it happened. I didn’t have to stop and talk myself into it. The thought came right away, “I want to finish.”
Like I answered the ‘fact’ question without even having to ask it.
So I kept going, and a few miles later things started to loosen up a little bit, so I thought, “Maybe I can make up some time.”
I asked what Susan would be asking me right now and it was, “What are some reasons this can get better?”
“Ok, it’s daylight, I’m not nauseated any more, I’m keeping food down.” All these things were better than before.
So instead of talking myself into quitting, I turned the race into a fun little game of, “That mile actually…that pace was pretty good. Can I do that again?”
Aron’s results speak for themselves:
1. Positive motivation. The past me could have gotten myself motivated but it would have been through, “I don’t want another DNF. I don’t want to disappoint my friend who came to Texas to be here. I don’t want to disappoint my parents who are excited to see what I do that day. I don’t want to tell you I have another DNF.”
It would have been a stressor. When I decided to finish, it wasn’t from a tense, pressuring, “I don’t want to disappoint.” It was from a positive, exciting, “I want to finish.”
2. Fun. I always think of the average pace I want to hit and in my head I’m either putting pennies in the bank or taking them out. I try to put pennies in as much as I can so later in the night I can pull pennies out without having to worry.
Even if it was half a penny, pennies in are a win. It became a fun game of, “That’s another one. Can I do it again?”
3. Faster. A really exciting result was the entire, last fifth loop, I was putting pennies in the bank - I was faster than average pace. Of the five laps, only the first lap was faster.
That shouldn’t happen…but it did.
4. Self-assured. Normally, I’d be embarrassed being at the end of the pack - thinking about what could have been, how my slow time would look, and my Ultrasignup rating going down.
But once I accepted this was a new, tougher, longer day, I didn’t worry how it would look to the outside world.
5. No negative self-talk. Historically, when things aren’t going right in a race I get frustrated and have to fight off negative self-talk like, “Why aren’t you doing this, why aren’t you able to do that - this person is, why can’t you do what they’re doing?”
This time I had tools to change it but I didn’t even have to try to use them. I just knew finishing was what I was there to do.
That’s a big change. I was just present in the moment - enjoying the pine needles underfoot and, “Oh the sun came out, this feels really good.”
6. No second-guessing. In the past, knowing how bad I wanted it, I would have second-guessed the decision to let my WS ticket go.
“Did you give up too soon? Maybe you should have held on to that a little longer. Maybe you could have sped up.”
But I don’t even think of questioning it. I’m confident I was putting out everything I could. If it wasn’t enough for WS, it wasn’t enough but I was doing what I could do.
Decision made, no point in going back. I had one job to do and had to get it done.
7. Trust. The old me wouldn’t have even trusted my body to try this after the injury (for months prior to the race) but I must be trusting myself to make the right decisions to get to the goal and keep the long term goal in mind.
It makes everything easier.
8. Increased confidence. Would it have been nice to have the day I planned? Sure, but looking back, I’m pretty happy how it ended up.
It’s crazy but if I had the day I wanted, I’d maybe have a WS ticket but I learned a lot more the way it happened and that makes it more special.
Having that finish and fighting that fight actually gives me MORE confidence for the next race than had I not been tested that way.
If you’re wondering how her race ended, Aron finished in 30:41:02, close to her original 30-hour goal, and far from last.
Proof her mindset work paid off.
