Believing When It’s Hard

People think I’ve done so many 100 mile races that it’s easy for me, hard for them.

But it doesn’t matter if you’ve done 1 or 133 like me. The same emotions and negative thinking come up.

The difference is, I manage it - I don’t let it manage me.

Here’s how I did that two weekends ago at Mountains to Sea Trail 100 in North Carolina.

The course is two out and backs from a central start/finish - 50k in one direction, the remaining 71 of the 102 miles in the opposite direction.

However, the course and drop bags changed right before the race and between website, late-breaking emails, and numbers not adding up right, I had three possible sets of distances between the aid stations.

I planned to confirm distances at the pre-race meeting, but arrived to find it had been the day before. My mistake, but now I wouldn’t know distances.

Race morning, all went well for the first out-and-back 50k. It was a wet and muddy but delightful trail full of variety, and felt like a point-to-point.

The trouble started on other out-and-back for the remaining 71 miles. 

At the first aid station out, a volunteer told me it was 34 miles which meant I’d only done 3 miles, and it ran longer than that. Odd, but volunteers have been wrong before.

I’d hoped to avoid a sock change but began getting blisters from the earlier mud and stopped at the next aid station.

It was my third long stop and I started feeling uneasy about time. I didn't want to repeat Burning River 100 where I frittered plenty of time into a DNF.

But volunteers at the next aid stations didn’t know the exact mileage or the distance between aid stations either. Worse, my times didn’t match the supposed mileage, and I couldn’t tell which numbers were right (if any) or wrong.

At the alleged 50 mile aid station, where math was easy (half the overall cutoff time), I found I was only an hour ahead of cutoff. But I also couldn’t be sure it was 50 miles.

Bottom line, I had no way to tell how I was doing against cutoff.

On the way out to what should be the 66-mile turnaround I felt concerned. After the turnaround, heading back 35 miles to the finish, I felt the urge to panic.

I’d have to be diligent the rest of the race about managing my mind.

I felt the panic and frustration instead of fighting them. They were understandable…just not helpful or necessary. 

I let them be background noise and shifted my attention to what I needed to think to stay in the game.

Every time I thought “I can’t make it,” I countered with:

“I don’t know that yet.”

“Until I know otherwise, I’m choosing to believe it’s possible.” 

“I’m going to keep doing my best.”

It felt strong and it worked.

The fear and frustration kept coming up…I kept repeating this…and I finished an hour ahead of cutoff.

So it doesn’t matter how many ultras you finish - we all face fear and doubt.

You don’t want to worry if you can white knuckle your way through fear again in your next race.

You want a reliable way to handle it like I did at MST100.

Managing your mind is something I teach my clients and is totally available for you.

All you have to have is a willingness to learn and practice, same as you’re already doing in training with your body.

If you’re curious, email me and let’s talk about how you want to change your running.

This is the year you deserve the strong races you’re truly capable of!