What do you need to forgive yourself for?
A DNF because you dropped
A DNF because you missed cutoff
Your fifth DNF in a row
Not hitting a PR
Second place instead of first
Being DFL (dead freaking last)
Making a wrong turn in the race
A horrible workout
Missing a long run
Missing too many long runs
Getting out of shape
Or...something else in your life that happens to be weighing your running down?
I hear it all the time, but pushing for excellence and criticizing yourself are two different things.
If you’re beating yourself up about something, please - stop and forgive yourself.
I know, something else was supposed to happen, but it didn’t.
And that’s okay.
Don’t just say “Yeah, okay, I forgive myself,” as you park in front of the grocery store and shift to the shopping list in your head.
Sit quietly for a moment with what really did happen. Look it in the eye. It’s just a thing that happened. By itself, without your judgments about it, it’s not inherently good or bad - it just is.
You can't go back and change it, and perpetually reliving what you “should have” done or lugging a sack of shame around won’t change it either. As brilliant speaker and author Byron Katie says, “When I argue with What Is, I lose, but only 100% of the time.”
You did the best you could at the time.
If you still think you could have done better, do it next next time.
Look around at what’s possible and move on to that - wiser now, and stronger in the forgiven places.
Don’t wait for a special day or an event. Do it now.
Because you have far more important things to do with your finite time on this planet than second-guess yourself.
That I know.
Please share this with anyone that might need it someday.
Until next week,
PS - I’ve got two openings for 1:1 coaching where we can work on forgiving yourself, preventing life problems from affecting your running and vice versa, and making the mindset shifts you've been wanting. I know from being coached that it's the difference between trying to change your mindset and actually doing it. Check it out here and email me with any questions!